How can you not feel like a failure?
Well, to be honest, I actually feel like I was failed by my medical team.
It is also soooo hard to feel supported when the people around you just don't get it.
(Un)fortunately, I have a good friend how gets it. Yes, we are 1 in 6, but we are also not alone. We understand that no one else understands. To try to be hopeful for each other is to be hopeful for ourselves.
Every body is different.
Again, I was on FB today. There were some ladies who were asking about estrogen priming. Well, estrogen priming didn't work for me, it over-suppressed me. I had an AFC of 8 on my baseline scanning, and after Estrace priming for 3 and a half weeks, it was 2. So, that was part of the failure - I got the wrong protocol to start with for my body.
Failure number 2 was when the nurse told me to cancel everything. To have someone in your medical team put you down like that was just as devastating as seeing the #2 on the piece of paper.
After discussing with my doctor, we agreed to try IUI. I was hopeful that my RE understood that I was tired of waiting. Six months of waiting and tests, and more waiting, and more blood tests.
Failure number 3 came when the Sunday ultrasound technician failed to see my follicles that were larger than 10 mm in diameter.
Failure number 4 came when my estrogen was noted to be high, but I was not given an antagonist to prevent ovulation prior to my IUI.
Failure number 5 was when the nurse told me that likely my timed intercourse wasn't going to work. That it would be pointless to use progesterone during the early stages of 'pregnancy' because I wasn't going to get pregnant.
You know how the say 3 strikes and you're out? Well, I'm not out but that medical team is!